어디있냐

How to stop saying yes?
Because I want to say no.
A while ago, I realized I was afraid of saying no because my fear is rejection.
I don’t want someone to feel disappointed, angry, unappreciated, and have negative thoughts towards me when I say no.
In the end I sacrificed many things.
Too much self-sacrifice.
I need myself to be happy but I lost.
I lost it. Myself. So, I gave away the happiness.

미안해

My brother died. Five years ago.

I thought time will heal the wound.

I thought I wouldn’t cry when I accidentally mentioned him.

I always stuck at his last moment. Still.

I regret for looking away when he was just asking. I have a lot of regrets. Now it’s meaningless.

By the end of it, I was in tears, on the bed, alone.